Red and Yellow Don't Make a Baby
by Raichu
Summary: Specialshipping, PWP parody. (Don't worry, there's nothing explicit.)
1. Chapter 1

She was excited. Finally, after so long without seeing him, he would come into her life again. This time, she was determined not to let him go.

The romantic feeling that had ensnared her as a young girl never faded. When he left the first time, she could do nothing less than dream of him every day. She would draw his picture in her notebook along with pictures of everything else she treasured. She had just enough skill to capture his smile, his kindness and confidence, and she would gaze at her image of him. That way, those features that attracted her to him would never fade from her mind. She would not let time rob her of that, no matter how long she had to wait.

And wait she did. As the days passed into months, the months into years, she never lost hope of one day meeting him again.

And meet they did.

And now this was the second time it happened. He wandered off again, longing to become stronger, wiser, better, and when he was ready, she would be ready for him too. But this time it would be different. This time, she could not bear to be left alone again. She was still young, but the passage of time would not let her remain so. This time, she would do whatever it took to keep him by her forever.

As she rode out of town towards the edge of the forest, she looked at her surroundings to find a familiar landmark. A tree, a rock, a stream. It would not be hard; she knew this place like the back of her hand, having spent so many hours and days learning its wonders and its secrets. Having found a tall, familiar tree, she knew it was not far from the place they agreed to meet. She dismounted from her Dodrio and walked the rest of the way through the fresh greenery that was Viridian.

She sat down, took off her large straw hat, and waited, idly listening to the pidgey squawk, the butterfree flutter and the rattata scurry. Her powers had increased with practice over the years, and she could sense what Pokémon could sense with little effort now.

And what she sensed added to her excitement. The Pokémon knew that someone was coming. Someone strong, confident, yet someone that exuded kindness and friendship towards their kind, one they could easily trust and not fear. Those feelings echoed her own, and she felt one with the Pokémon world in a way she had never felt before.

Moments later, she saw him, still dressed in his jeans and red jacket, thick locks of jet-black hair gushing out beneath his cap, striding towards the place where he had promised, straight towards her. Her heart leapt. This was it. This was the moment that would determine the path of the rest of her life.


	2. Chapter 2

Yellow sprang to her feet and waved to him, a smile beaming on her face.

"Hey, is it you, Red?" she asked.

Red walked closer until was a few feet away. He looked at her oddly.

"Huh!? Who are you?" he replied.

"It's me, Yellow," she answered.

"Oh. I didn't recognize you," he explained.

"Oh, well I am two years older since when you last saw me. I guess that means I've changed a lot," she pointed out.

"I guess so. I mean I didn't recognize you that other time after not seeing you for two years," he stated. He laughed a short, nervous laugh. "I thought you were a boy!"

"I've always wondered about that. Didn't you think I looked exactly like the girl you saved in the forest?" she indicated.

"No ... I guess not," he puzzled.

"And didn't you recognize me as the one who looked after you after your fight with Giovanni?" she queried.

"No, I wasn't supposed to think that way," he told her. "It would've spoiled the joke at the end of the story about asking you to come and live with me."

"Oh I see. Maybe that's why," she mused.

"In any case, don't forget that the author in this story didn't describe you, so how am I supposed to know it's you. Anyway, do you want to do it now?" he inquired.

"What? What do you mean?" she questioned.

"Come and live with me," he confirmed.

"Red, I haven't seen you for two years," she exclaimed. "And don't forget I'm a girl and you're a boy."

"Yes, but we're over the legal age now," he pointed out.

(A/N I forgot to say in the previous paragraph that her heart was flurrying with excitement. Sorry.)

"Oh, that's right." Then she proclaimed, "Look, I even have a bust now at last."

(A/N I don't know why I didn't just edit the paragraph instead of putting in an A/N.)

"You want me to look at your bust?" he flummoxed.

(A/N Actually I do know why. It's because this story is a parody.)

"You were already looking at my bust," she smirked. "Anyway, I'll come and live with you."

(A/N But you probably already knew that it's a parody.)

"Oh, wow!" he shouted joyfully.

(A/N Anyway it's too late. I've uploaded this now. Too bad I can't fix a story after it's been uploaded.)

So Yellow let out her Dodrio and they rode it together all the way back to Pallet Town. Actually, they stopped on the way at Yellow's house to pick up her stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

Finally having arrived at Pallet Town, Red's home town, Yellow let her Dodrio have a break, while Red carried her bag for her. They got to his house and he invited her inside. It was a simple dwelling, with only the basics. When one's lifestyle is mostly travelling, you don't need much stuff. Not to mention that without a paying job, one doesn't have much money to acquire many material possessions.

But to Red, it was his home, and having Yellow join him was something he always looked forward to, even when he though she was a boy. (A/N Please don't take that the wrong way. Red is only interested in girls. Well ... one girl. Well, Misty sort of liked him too. Well, let's move on with the story.)

"Thanks for helping me move in." she said gratefully.

"It wasn't hard." He tossed the bag in the air and caught it in one hand with a casual gesture to show how light her luggage was. "It's not like you have any other clothes," he said innocently, peering inside her bag to double check. "You always seem to wear the same thing."

"Don't you like what I wear?" she said offendedly, ignoring the fact that she probably had tampons and other personal stuff in her bag.

"Oh no, it's fine," he said reassuringly, waving his hand.

"Well maybe I'll take it off then," she said feigning angerly and began to unfasten her clothing, even though it would be extremely out of character for Yellow to do that.

"Wait ... uh ... what are you doing?" he said surprisedly, wondering whether he should look away or not. In the end he decided to cover his eyes with his hands but to open his fingers a crack so he could peek with one eye, even though it would be extremely out of character for Red to do that.

"If you don't like what I wear, maybe you'll like me better like this," she said teasingly, even though Yellow was a meek, polite girl who wouldn't tease anyone.

"Waah! I didn't say I didn't like anything," he said worriedly.

"Oh good. Well, I hope you'll like me even better without clothes on then," she said confidently. "Hey, why aren't you undressing?" she said invitingly.

"Why should I undress?" he said half out of his witsly.

"Because we're living together now," she said matter-of-factly. "Haven't you realized?"

"Realized what?" he said questioningly.

She paused undressing for a moment to use her hands to gesture.

"This whole plot is a set-up for the next chapter, and the readers have waited three chapters for a hot scene," she said explainingly. "Do you want to disappoint them?"

A light switched on inside Red's head. He suddenly realized that as a character in a story, the whole point of his being involved in it was to entertain the readers. Or to titillate them, whatever that means.

However, it dawned on him that if he were to get involved in a story like that, it would be like ... like ... exposing himself in front of an unknown number of strangers. Who knows what sort of details the author would describe about him. He wasn't sure he wanted to do that.

But then, for some reason he couldn't figure out, he finally said resignedly, "Oh, OK. I guess it sounds fair enough. I better go along with the plot." If I can call it a plot, he thought.

He started undressing too, remembering to rip his tee-shirt when he got to that part like he did the time he met deoxys. "Not like I have any choice about going along with it," he said mutterlingly. "I guess I better make the best of it."


	4. Chapter 4

There is no chapter four.

_-or-_

This chapter has intentionally been left blank.

_-or-_

There would be a chapter four but the author doesn't particularly want to write it.

_-or-_

Even if he did, it's against the site rules, so there!

_-or-_

If you really were waiting for a hot scene, too bad, tough luck, go look up "Sahara Desert" in wikipedia.


	5. Chapter 5

They lay together, feeling warm, happy and content. His broad, muscular chest doubled as a pillow for her head, threads of hair stuck with sweat against his skin. Her hand stroked his shoulder gently, treasuring his presence beneath her, finally glad to have him as her own.

"Hey, why did we skip the you-know-what part?" Red asked.

"Because it's against the site rules," Yellow replied. "Do you want this story to get deleted?"

"No, I guess not."

"Better to lose one chapter than to lose the whole plot," she added.

"What plot?" he pondered, thinking about the story so far.

"And if this story gets deleted, we might not get a chance to be together any more." Then she added meekly, "And I don't ever want to leave you again."

He smiled at her words and planted a soft kiss on the top of her head. They remained like that, her head on his chest, enjoying the sated feeling. Suddenly he sat up.

"Hey," he said. "What if they do delete this story? Does that mean that this never happened? I'd hate to have missed it."

"What happened?"

"You know, when we you-know-whatted."

"Well we both missed it. Who knows if it even happened. The author isn't allowed to write that bit."

"Oh. So how come I feel all kind of ... happy and dreamy?"

"Because the author is allowed to write this part."

"Oh. That makes sense ... I guess."

He lay down again, and she put her head back on his chest. After a few moments, Red shot up again.

"Hey Yellow, you know how we've never done it before. How come we knew what to do?"

"That's silly. All it takes is for the author to copy what's in stories written by other authors who read about it in stories written by other authors who new how to do it."

That was a bit more than his mind could grasp, fuzzy as it was after doing with her what he didn't do with her because the author wasn't allowed to publish it. (A/N Nor did he particularly want to write it ...) So Red lay back down, and Yellow repositioned herself how she was before.

It didn't last long. Again, he sat up.

"What's the matter now, Red?" she asked.

"Oh no! Yellow, we didn't ... like you know ... use any kind of ..."

"Don't worry," she reassured him. "That part got left out of the story, so there's no risk of anything happening to me, none at all."

"Phew!" he sighed in relief, and lay down again. A moment later he puzzled at how it even made sense, but in the end decided that Yellow must surely know.

"Anyway, I don't have a job that earns any money, so there's no way I could support a kid right now," he said.

"Not that I would mind having kids with you one day," she commented. "Have you thought about that, Red?"

"No," he answered. "I'm a guy, and guys aren't supposed to think about that sort of thing, at least not in stories."

After a pause, he added, "I think it's sad though. I would like to be able to dream of having a little boy or girl. I guess we'll give them the name 'Orange'. I bet they'll be a hot shot Pokémon trainer like me. But I can't dream about that just because I'm a teenage boy who only cares about one thing. Apparently it's to do with hormones and stuff ..."

A minute later he sat up again.

"Red, how am I supposed to enjoy a feeling of dreamy contentment when you keep sitting up," she complained.

He ignored her question. He had something much more pressing on his mind.

"What if this story gets deleted and the author hasn't kept a back-up copy?"

"How do you know he hasn't?"

"I'm not saying I know. I can't know unless the author makes me know, and if he does, wouldn't that be some kind of paradox or something and destroy the universe?"

"No," she reassured him, "paradoxes only destroy the universe in Doctor Who. This is Pokémon."

"Well, I'm just worried in case."

She pondered for a moment before replying.

"I know! There must be other authors who have paired us. With the new pairing feature, it should be easy to find another story with the two of us."

"Oh that's right. Hey, or you can search for 'specialshipping'. That's what they call it when we like each other in a story, isn't it?"

"Yes. Or in a drawing," she added, since she was an amateur artist after all, "but that's on a different web site."

Happy with that, he nodded and lay down so that they could continue feeling contented bliss.

Suddenly he shot up again.

"Yellow, if we search for 'specialshipping' and find lots of stories about us, doesn't it seem kind of strange?"

"Why, what's so strange?" she said.

"How can we fall in love more than once, each time like we've never fallen in love before?"

She puzzled over the question for a while, but this time, she didn't have an answer.

"And what if one of us dies in a story," he continued. "What then? Without this story, we might never be together."

Unable to come to a satisfactory answer, he decided that he might as well make the best of it and enjoy at least this one story. So he lay down and let Yellow place her head on his chest again. He embraced her with his arm and stroked her back gently.

She had to admit that he had a point. She puzzled for a while in silence, but in the end, the warm comfort of Red's bare chest under her head and Red's soothing stroking of her back made her drowsy. Out of the blue, she began to wonder if her powers would work on Red. Could she read his mind? She felt like she wanted to try, but the more she wanted, the more the thought became intangible and elusive.

Soon they both fell asleep, breathing gently and enfolded in the comfort of each other's arms.


	6. Chapter 6

After that first fateful day living together, having to put up with an author who used them to make a parody of PWP stories, they lived happily ever after. They weren't even annoyed at what the author put them through, because the author can make them feel anything he wants them to, and that means he can make them not feel any grudge.

The author, however, is kind-hearted, so he left them in peace. They got married, had a few kids, including their first child, Orange, a boy who grew to be a hot shot trainer like his dad, and made his parents proud. Red and Yellow had many more wonderful adventures battling rare, powerful Pokémon and defeating horrific, humanity-hating villains.

And don't worry, folks. The author kept a back-up copy of this story. And just in case, he'll also be publishing it on another site where the rules aren't as strict. (A/N But I'm not even going to try to write chapter four ...)

* * *

_Real Author's Note: I've been having trouble for a long time getting the inspiration I need to write more stories. Finally I got an idea that motivated me enough to write something. After all the ridiculous pornographic material going around this site, when it's not even allowed and even likely to get deleted, I figured, why not make a parody of it. Plus it's an opportunity to express my ridiculous sense of humour._


End file.
